Writing and Connection

I have maintained a journal in its current format for nearly three years. Before I worked within the structure I have now, I haphazardly wrote in physical notebooks and random text files. There was no order to the chaos. Committing to a loose structure and letting it grow organically has been deeply fulfilling. I have always known that there is beauty to a consistent approach, but I could not tame my monkey mind. Really I just wanted the results without the patience, so I would bounce around thinking the next solution would be the right one. This rush I was in was only slowing me down. Slowing me down from what though? What are these ‘results’ I am after? And why does this website, in which I post some of my journal entries, exist?

An introspective and inquisitve disposition, for better or worse, is one I have maintained for as long as I can remember. The act of transforming abstract thoughts into concrete words soothes this inner world of mine. Journaling is a remedy. It is first and foremost for me and my desire to articulate my thoughts, to slow down and enter a pleasant state of concentration, and to understand the causes of my current condition. Once I feel that I am expressing myself authentically, I open myself up for genuine connection.

This website is an artifact of ‘opening up’. This is my form of social media. Is the objective not to connect with one another? If so, why do I see a stream of advertisements and curated snapshots of individuals that only touch the surface level of who they are? I wish to understand the depth of another human. I write to expose the foundation of who I am, both to myself and to others who might be interested. I do not share in the pursuit of ’likes’, I share in the pursuit of deeper understanding.

This idea arose from my experience of reading the commentary of Protesilaos. His writing is both personal and generalized. I feel as if I am getting the raw emotion and experience of an individual, and insight into our shared reality. A lot of writing fits one or the other, but not both. Either it is too specific to the individual, thus difficult to truly resonate with, or generalized to the point that there is no sense of shared humanity. When I read what Prot shares, I feel connected to another human being. This connection was only solidified when I reached out to him via email, and received a warm response. Even though our communication is sparse, and we have never met in person, I consider him a friend. This is why I share.