Big Picture

I recently got back from a trip to Virginia. A trip in which I spent some time with family, and indulged in plenty of contemplation. For the majority of my twenties, I could not help but feel a shocked when I returned from a trip and strolled back in to my routine life. It always felt so absurd to return to this monotony. Because of this feeling, it was hard for me to not question the value of taking these trips. Would it not be better to keep my life rolling smoothly? This never stopped me from taking time off, but I could not help but have these nagging thoughts. I believe this is because I was not aligned with the big picture of my life.

I set off on the goal of financial independence in my late teens. I have pursued this goal diligently for more than 10 years now. I do not regret this pursuit, as it has taught me a lot about commiting to long term goals. However, I think this has also narrowed my mind and perspective in unexpected ways. I knew that I wanted freedom. I knew that spending my life working an office job seemed ludicrous. I had vague ideas of what I would want to do with financial freedom, but as the years passed and my thoughts became more concrete, the vagueness of the ideas were illuminated. I had forgotten the finite reality of my life and fell into complacency.

The shock I experienced upon returning to my routines stemmed from a lack of clarity in perceiving my life as a cohesive whole. I had my working life, and I had breaks from that. During these breaks I experience and feel new things which expand my mind and remind me that I am a multifaceted human being. I then return to my work and routines with the understanding that I am returning to this narrow way of living. The lesson here is to not fracture your life with these ‘breaks’. You must learn how to integrate the novel with the routine to form this so called cohesive whole. This of course can be difficult when faced with economic and societal restraints and responsibilities. Not to mention the conditions of your life will change, and so will the effort of achieving balance.

It appears to me that strategy to achieve this ‘wholeness’ lies in understanding the big picture. The real big picture. Not the one that contains your material goals, but the one that contains the truth of what you are. I am a single human among billions. I am a biological organism among an unfathomable amount. I am but a tiny piece of life, and I am subject to the same laws that every other piece of life is subject to. I find that when I rest in this truth with humility, I am able to move forward with more clarity and ease. I understand that I will grow as a direct result of my experiences and environment. With this in mind, I try to create systems for myself that will help me grow in the way I see fit. Part of this system includes reminding myself of the scale of the cosmos, and my place in it. This reflection results in said humility, as I understand the universe owes me nothing. Because of this, I do my best to appreciate the present moment with a sense of awe and wonder.